Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
