My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
