No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize