u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
