Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize