dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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