Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
