I feel great
I just peed on a car
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
