everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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