she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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