just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
