I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
