Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he fucked my hip out of place.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
