Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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