life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Randomize
