i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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