well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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