my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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