Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you would pick up someone in the library
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
there is glitter all over my balls
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
