hotel room ftw
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
