I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
