Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
