Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You took a bar mat shot.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
