he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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