If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
