How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize