Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Randomize
