I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize