clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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