are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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