Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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