the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
