I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
