Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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