I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
