used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
