i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize