The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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