By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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