you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
