WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
