I just pynch a tree in the face
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize