She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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