Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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