nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
