I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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