idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
