just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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