I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
