didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
