I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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