What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
