Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
