...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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