11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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