This is not my ceiling
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
