Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
