I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
